We need more words

When I talked about design of a program with one of my collaborators in the development of a system for social networking, she asked "what do you mean by program?"


Her question started me thinking about the many terms in social networking and in IT generally that have been appropriated from everyday vocabulary.

I thought we were designing a system, which to me met a way of working. system to an IT professional means hardware. I thought we were networking - each of us contributing our knowledge and experience to the whole group and involving others we knew so that we could use their expertise, too. It seems networking is done with blue cables in IT. Of course these are not the sort of cables that used to carry text messages fifty years ago. They were named after the cables that carried the message, but soon became synonymous with the piece of paper they were printed on.

According to the Global Language Monitor there are an estimated 1 million English words.

The monitor also says that there are:

• 450,000 words listed in the Merriam-Webster's 3rd International edition, according to its introduction;
• fewer than 100,000 words in the French language;
• About 50,000 ideograms in the various Chinese dialects (though countless more words);
• in the order of 7,000 human languages and dialects
• 12,143 different words of a total 787,137 words in the English version of the king James Bible,
• 8,674 different words in the Hebrew Old Testament,
• 5,624 words in the Greek New Testament;
• 24,000 differing words to be found in the complete works of Shakespeare, about 1,700 of which he invented.

Even with so many words we need to double up.

Left and right mean more than sides. Top and bottom are not just a toy and a base. Tear can be pronounced two ways, each with a different meaning.

As far I can see, the word set is the one that has the most meanings. think about it, what does it mean to you?

Place down? Collection? Harden? A series of tennis games? Prepare to run?

My favourite resource, the One Look Dictionary search found definitions in 99 dictionaries and gave 45 different meanings in their quick definitions - a feature that normally has between one and three meanings. By contrast the word system only featured in 66 dictionaries and had a mere 9 quick definitions. Reification was only found in 18 dictionaries with 2 quick definitions, while bricolage only made it into 12 dictionaries without a quick definition.

Back to the program that I thought I was designing, no it was not the booklet that lists the cast and order of events in a theatre, it was not to be broadcast on TV, it was not even computer software. It was a set of training materials.

On the subject of words, do you know why golf was given that name? All of the other four letter obscenities were already taken.

This tale did the rounds on a number of internet list serves and inspired thoughts on training, performance evaluation, selection and sundry related issues. It came to my attention through a posting from William D. Lovett, a Management and Training Consultant from Wakefield RI, who attributes it to Fred Nichols, but says that Fred believes Anonymous is the real author.


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Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence on what he earned working at Wal-Mart; but he always dreamed of being rich."Felix!" he exclaimed one day, "We're going to be rich! I'm going to teach you how to fly!" Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect. "I can't fly, you idiot! I'm a frog, not a canary!" Clarence, disappointed at the initial reaction, told Felix, "That negative attitude of yours could be a real problem. I'm sending you to class."So Felix went to a three day class and learned about problem solving, time management and effective communication.... but nothing about flying.

On the first day of "flying lessons", Clarence could barely control his excitement (and Felix could barely control his bladder). Clarence explained that their apartment had 15 floors and each day Felix would jump out of a window starting with the first floor eventually getting to the top floor. After each jump, Felix would analyze how well he flew, isolate on the most effective flying techniques and implement the improved process for the next flight. By the time they reached the top floor, Felix would surely be able to fly.

Felix pleaded for his life, but it fell on deaf ears. "He just doesn't understand how important this is..." thought Clarence, "but I won't let naysayers get in my way." So, with that, Clarence opened the window and threw Felix out (who landed with a thud).

Next day (poised for his second flying lesson) Felix again begged not to be thrown out of the window. With that, Clarence opened his pocket guide to Managing More Effectively and showed Felix the part about how one must always expect resistance when implementing new programs. And with that, he threw Felix out the window. (THUD!)

On the third day (at the third floor) Felix tried a different ploy. Stalling, he asked for a delay in the "project" until better weather would make flying conditions more favourable. But Clarence was ready for him. He produced a timeline pointed to the third milestone and asked, "You don't want to slip the schedule do you?" From his training, Felix knew that not jumping today would mean that he would have to jump TWICE tomorrow. So he just said, "OK. Let's go." And out the window he went.

Now understand that Felix really was trying his best. On the fifth day he flapped his feet madly in a vain attempt to fly. On the sixth day he tied a small red cape around his neck and tried to think "Superman" thoughts. Try as he might, though, Felix couldn't fly.

By the seventh day, Felix (accepting his fate) no longer begged for mercy. He simply looked at Clarence and said, "You know you're killing me, don't you?" Clarence pointed out that Felix's performance so far had been less than exemplary, failing to meet any of the milestone goals he had set for him. With that, Felix said quietly, "Shut up and open the window". He leaped out, taking careful aim on the large jagged rock by the corner of the building. And Felix went to that great lily pad in the sky.

Clarence was extremely upset, as his project had failed to meet a single goal that he set out to accomplish. Felix had not only failed to fly, he didn't even learn how to steer his flight as he fell like a sack of cement. Nor did he improve his productivity when Clarence had told him to "Fall smarter, not harder." The only thing left for Clarence to do was to analyze the process and try to determine where it had gone wrong. After much thought, Clarence smiled and said, "Next time...... I'm going to find a smarter frog"

Finish with a flourish

I recommend that speakers write their concluding paragraph first. This consists of the main point that you want the audience to remember from your presentation. Perhaps it is a restatement of your main theme, perhaps it is a call to action, perhaps a story of the benefits gained from applying your message.

I never finish with a questions from the floor session. If questions from the floor are necessary - and often they are, I insert that portion about 70% of the way through my presentation. I explain that I will take question for the next ten minutes and then will have some concluding remarks.

I have already mentioned that I prepare a briefing note for the person who is going to thank me for the presentation. Unlike my introduction, it is not scripted, but it does ask the host to mention one or two salient points, so that the individuals in the audience are hearing my message restated by a person with local influence.
Use your final remarks to create a lasting impression.
To help them remember:

• Summarise your message into a brief, memorable sentence;
• Explain what can be done to make it come true;
• Show how it is relevant to your audience;
• Explain how it will benefit your audience.

Provide takeaways

I was once told that the hallmark of a great seminar is a good lunch and an impressive manual. I didn't believe it then or now, although there is a smidgin of truth in it.
How many manuals have you collected and stored in a bookshelf somewhere, never to be consulted again? I am certain that some participants expect that the information contained in them will somehow penetrate our consciousness through osmosis - provided, of course, that they are stored exactly the right distance from our head.

On the other hand, a well designed handout can serve as a valuable prompt to help participants take the message home.

I generally use interactive handouts - ones which the participants complete during the presentation. This has the additional advantage of involving the sense of touch during the seminar or speech.

Ways that handouts can be made interactive include:

• Providing outlines of diagrams used in slide presentations - leave in the graphics, but leave out the words;

• Printing the first letters of an acronym which is the framework on the presentation;

• Using a 'Good Ideas Doggy Bag." This is a handout that I have developed which I ask participants to write out the one idea from the presentation that they intend to use first. I ask them to seal it in an envelope that I provide and then I promise to send it to them one month later.

The advantage of this process is that when they do return home, other more pressing issues may dilute the impact of the seminar.

By delivering a reminder, in their own words and hand-writing, when their recollection may be faltering, I reinforce the commitment that they made to themselves.

· Another form of takeaway is a prompt that can be displayed on their desk. I use index card size summaries that fold into a tent. I also give away good quality pens with my name and contact details on them. I find a far better call back rate from these than from business cards.

Fridge magnets are not a good idea, as if these are brought into contact with recording media, such as tapes or computer disks, including the hard drive on a computer, the information on the tape or disc is erased.

Never distribute copies of your speech to be read by the audience as you deliver it. Do you really want them to get ahead of you? Do you really want them to know that you skipped a paragraph because of time constraints? The only person in the room who should know what you are going to say next is you.

Some conferences ask for a paper to be submitted in advance and this is then circulated to the participants. Fine. What I say in the paper is consistent with what I say from the platform, but I speak to the paper, rather than read it.

I have three speeches on any subject: The one I intend to give - which is printed in the papers, the one I do give, which is often available on cassette and the one I wish I had given, which is available to those who ring me afterwards to discuss a point that I made.

As a handout, I prefer to give an outline of the main points, and often include some of the anecdotes under the heading "Tales Trainers Tell."

At other times I restrict handouts to a single point, and give them out one page at a time. This has increased flexibility if the level of knowledge is not what I had expected. I can withhold some notes, and give out others to suit the reaction that I am getting.

The quality of the handouts is important. Clear photocopies are no more expensive than shoddy ones. Plenty of white space improves readability immensely. I always have contact details on each page so that people can follow through if they wish to.

Build Your Knowledge

• What statistics support your message?

•  What anecdotes can you use to add to what you have to say?
•  How can you represent your message visually?
•  Ask questions

Gather resources
Apart from your own personal experiences, there is a great deal of material available to provide support. For the computer literate, the internet is a marvellous resource.
There are a large number of sites dedicated to jokes, clip art, statistics and quotations. It is impractical to provide addresses here, as the net changes so rapidly that by the time you finish reading this chapter the list will have changed.
Be warned: when you use a search engine for quotations, you will find what you are looking for mixed in with thousands of other references for investment strategies, second hand cars and home improvements. By looking for "quote" and "speak" and "research" and "health" and "life expectancy" you greatly reduce the number of alternatives. Read through the search engine tips for advice on how to combine several queries into one.
If the last paragraph is apparently in some foreign language, then I have some good news and some bad news: the good news is that the internet is very easy to use, and with libraries, cafes and kiosks offering cheap short term internet access is easy to access without investing in your own computer. The bad news is that if you are not internet literate, then a large part of your audience will attribute a lack of intelligence to your efforts. Perhaps that is unfair, but that does not make it untrue.
Please look at the copyright conditions associated with the material that you use. Most sites permit their material to be used, provided that acknowledgment is given. Others ask that you seek permission or provide feedback. While the chances of prosecution may be slight, some sites do aggressively protect their copyright, and so they should. The best reason for complying with the conditions that they impose on your using their material is simply that it demonstrates your integrity. Add to that the impact on your credibility: When you trot out your statistic, some in the audience will challenge (hopefully silently) its accuracy. If you are able to report that it came from the latest census, via the government statistics web site, you are demonstrating that you point is supported, and that you have done your homework.


Build a database
The acquisition and selection of material is essential for the preparation of a great presentation.
I still find Readers Digest a great source. Aside from jokes, there are personal experience, quotes and examples of "picturesque speech" throughout every issue. Most of the material is timeless, so while the current issue may contain material that is currently doing the rounds of bistros, bars and bus stops, past issues contain a great deal of material that is still quite useful.
Television shows, comedy stand up routines and comic strips in daily newspapers are further examples of places to look for a humorous view of life.
The Internet is a mine of jokes, it is simply a matter of knowing where to look. Because the world wide web is developing at such a rapid pace it is impractical to give addresses in a book like this, but search engines and links are two terms that any good speaker has to become familiar with in today's world. Ask any computer literate colleague to explain them to you, or preferably show you how they work.
The greatest source of material, however is your daily life. If you look for examples, you will find them. The challenge is to look.
Having found the material, it is time to store it.
I use a computer data base file now, but for many years relied on the low tech equivalent, index cards. I still carry a supply of blank cards with me. To record incidents as they happen, but as soon as possible I transfer it to my data base.
Rather than just cross reference a page and issue of Readers Digest or a joke book I always rewrite the material to suit my style. I am not in the habit of copying other people's material word for word, but rather emulating the way that they provide the surprise twist.
By personalising it, I find it easier to remember, too.
By and large, preparation is largely about collecting, sorting and deciding on application. Then it is time to practice your material.