The differences between good and great speakers: 1. Practice

Whenever I am asked about the best way to practice public speaking I inevitably suggest join a Toastmasters club. Go to the Toastmasters International website to find a club near you.


But how well does the confidence gained in Toastmasters translate into confidence speaking before other groups. Toastmasters speak before (mostly) the same people every week and you know everyone is there to help you along.

To answer this question let’s look at how we learn something new. Before we learn we are often an Unconscious Incompetent (we don't know that we don't know how to do it).

For some reason or other we become aware that we could learn. Maybe it's an invitation to speak at a friend’s wedding, maybe it is recognizing that the people who can speak well are advancing faster at work. There are a thousand ways that we may become aware, everyone's story is different.

Even though we are aware, we may not choose to do anything about it - or we may even choose not to do anything. Nevertheless, we are now a Conscious Incompetent. We know that we do not know.

If we make a decision to do something, the first few times we try may be quite uncomfortable. But we stay focussed and we concentrate and we get by. This is the phase of Conscious Competence. We are able to do it, but we have to concentrate.

With practice, and some motivation and support, with knowledge gained from the program we will gradually feel more comfortable, and eventually we will wonder what all the fuss was about. We will become Unconscious Competents. We do it out of habit.

Let me take an extreme example - if you pull your left ear when you are nervous, you may not know it. Someone may draw it to your attention - hopefully quietly and sensitively - and you will become aware. Now you are more likely to notice yourself doing it. Someone may suggest a positive alternative behaviour to help you avoid it - always keep your hands in your pockets. Doesn't look good, I know, but much better than the ear pulling. When you feel yourself about to reach for your ear, whamm hand into pocket. A conscious act. Eventually the habit will disappear and be replaced by another annoying one - hands in pockets - but this is less distracting and easier to change to meaningful gestures.

So back to your original question: the habits that you develop in front of your comfortable group will stay with you. The habit of making eye contact, the importance of a catchy opening, always leaving with a memorable close - they are readily translated.

The other side - being uncomfortable in front of a group of strangers will partly disappear, because you have more confidence as a result of your catchy opening, your eye contact and the fact that your hands are in your pockets, not pulling your ear. But the self belief that this group of people are interested in what you have to say may only come from speaking to several different groups and Toastmasters offers that opportunity, too with over 10,000 clubs in almost 100 countries.

Here is a story that I often use to make this point:

I recently had a conversation with the leader of a band who practices in a garage not very far from my place. Suspecting that he couldn't afford a watch I rang him and told him what time it was. To extend the conversation I politely, although politeness at 3 am is not the same as politeness at midday, asked him "WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THAT MUSIC IN THAT GARAGE ANYWAY?"

He explained to me that they would not let him play at the Sydney Opera House until he got it right. In the garage he could practice the same song over and over in the hope that the nuances that he applied to the music would meld.

He also explained that he received some interesting feedback from my neighbors that was enabling him to adjust the material to suit a wider audience.

He admitted that some of the feedback was not useful (some was physically very difficult) but every now and then he obtained some evaluation that he could use.

Grateful that I had been able to add to his total knowledge, rather than going to sleep (an impossibility, anyway) I compared his method to my participation in Toastmasters.

The Toastmasters club is like a garage. I can try new things before an audience that will give me valuable feedback. Some I choose to ignore, some I modify before include it, some I accept totally.

In return I am asked to provide applause and feedback to my fellow members.

When I get it right in this low risk setting then I will be ready to take it to the real world.